grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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