You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
