So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
