she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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