now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
