im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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