btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
