Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
