you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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