so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
