Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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