How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
