Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize