That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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