I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
