She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We left the knife in your bed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
