Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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