We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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