I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
