dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
worst night to have a conscience
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
