Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
