I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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