hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am available for nakedness
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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