They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
