Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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