Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize