How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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