do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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