For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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