well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
