I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
