did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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