I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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