It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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