Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
