oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
