If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
