can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm experimenting with sincerity
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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