Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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