if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
