Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
