I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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