I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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