There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
