He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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