But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize