he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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