bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
