you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
