I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
