Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
