Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
