You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
