he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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