I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
