Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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