Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
