I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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