"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
