i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
